Ski

Unless you are at Beaver Creek or Aspen, ski instructing is a low-paying, thankless job often done by intermediate skiers at best that weren't really sure what they were getting into. Here's the way it works at Hunter: Answer an ad online and show up for a two-day Instructor Training Course. Pay for your hotel/motel and another $100 for taking the "course". You get a free two-day ticket, but you are skiing the entire day with your group both days. You break up into ability groups...anywhere from ex-racer to low intermediate. Over the next two days, you learn to tell "clients" they are doing great. "Pressure the tongue of your boot...Yes, terrific! You're doing excellent!" Link three turns down a green circle to end day two and meet at the lodge to see if you pass. You pass. Now, work for us for $10/hr and ski free when wearing your Instructors coat (at CB, I believe it cannot leave the CB premises). The trouble with Hunter---and other places---is that it costs twice as much to rent a little place nearby than you'll ever make teaching. Teaching skiing is usually best suited for people that have school teacher mentalities, I think. I did it for three years, but was motivated by, er, um....women. Guys got sh*tty lessons from me.

A Ski Patroller is certified by the National Ski Patrol. They mostly wear red jackets (some older versions are odd earth tones) and have the universal sign of the white cross. They are fancy lifeguards...er, maybe that's too simplistic. They are first responders to accidents. If you break your neck, they'll stabalize your head and stop the gushing blood and try not to barf on your exposed, protruding bones. Then they give your a free sled ride down to the First Aid Office or ambulance. 90% of Ski Patrollers are NOT jerks. The 10% that are mostly come from a time when they were in charge on ripping up lift tickets. Most hated that part of their job, though. Now, the police duty is done by Rangers, AKA Yellow Jackets, Yellow Triangles, Slope Security. They don't wear red jackets. Ever. At Shawnee, they were wearing blue the last time I was in trouble there. People become Ski Patrol because they enjoy helping people--- like EMTs, paramedics, nurses, and even doctors. People mostly become Rangers because they enjoy a good power trip now and again. Rangers don't necessarily know CPR, and even if they did, probably wouldn't use it on your sorry ass. There are very few paid Ski Patrol positions; most are volunteer. If a certified Ski Patroller shows up at our little private mountain, he/she skis for free and watches over us all for any emergency assistance they'd gladly give. Rangers are all volunteer (except perhaps the highest ranking bull boss). They only ski free at their home mountains. If you call it skiing. As I said, I did meet a cool Yellow Triangle at Montage last year. But that guy should tell his "coworkers" to stop being such jerk*ffs, since it makes him look bad.

Yeah, but they let the instructors build them and use them. There were about 20 "blue" coats gathered on Boomer the other day. I don't think you'd see 20 CB instructors hanging out on Marjie's building and hitting jumps. I think there would be a mass firing.

Red or yellow Atomics. No backpack. Dark hoodies if it's warm; red jacket if it's cold. I've been wearing my orange helmet to get used to it. I usually ski alone unless the chicks from Bulgaria are around. It's a pretty ugly accent, in my opinion, but chicks with accents are better than chicks without.

Well, I'll be sure to say hi. Would that be: Hi, Mr. Peckerhead, or Hi, Mr. Penis Once you put on that yellow jacket at CB or Montage--- or blue at Shawnee--- you are simply a narc in my book. UNLESS you go out of your way to be friendly to me. I met ONE cool one at Montage last year. Every other one either gave me or friends of mine a hard time. Ski patrollers save lives. Yellow jackets are f*cking hall monitors. On black diamonds, hall monitor duties should be to redirect bunny skiers back to green circles. And to that one particular dope camped out in the middle of Boomer's headwall to watch the kids jumping in from the woods: "MOVE, YOU IDIOT!"

~~Wise freakin' ass~~ You wish I has holes in my suit

Snow above it and snow below it...I could see where that kind of sucked.

We'll be there Saturday and Sunday. Were you one of the kids thinking about moving the rail onto snow by any chance?

Ha, when I first read this thread I didn't even know what to say. I mean, waxing isn't to grease your skis, it's to allow the water/snow/ice to efficiently pass under your base without friction. I did see a TV documentary on prison life where the guys had a special use for that kind of soap...and the little packets of butter, too.

The Tanglwood GS really is a good race to break in. I always forget how easy of a course set it is...the headwall is short and there are no bad offset gates. It's really close to how you'd ski it without gates. And the hill's race director, Bob, always sets a similar course because the terrain dictates a certain set because of the rollers and long flats. I'm not sure why they are waiting to announce which is GS and which is SL, but it might be in part because of the sketchy forecast. Maybe a SL on the warmer of the two days? Less worry about rutting out...

That is, to be politically incorrect, totally queer. And lazy, too. That's worse than puting two separate SG runs together and calculating it like one DH run. But no excuse, 'Dude. We want a 149 out of you.

The guy in front of me in run 2 broke the starting wand and then DQ'd by going around the wrong side of the first gate. How the Hell do you miss the first gate? It's 15 feet in front of you... I just lost my pole plant then lost it again...then lost my other...lucky for me that it's all on tape so I can relive it over and over. So 'Dude, I tested out the flouro with another guy. It was humid, with man-made snow and relatively warm temps, which would be ideal for PTFE. My first run mistake made it hard to tell for sure, but he swore he took off 1/2 sec. because of it. It seemed faster, but I need to do it again. I used Swix LF8 as a base for the flouro overlay. I corked it in and horsehair brushed it out for run 2 only.

Props to Skimom who continues to creep up on the elite class females of the ASRA race circuit...Tanglwood isn't much of a destination resort, but it kicks ass when it comes to turning over their best slope to us as a playground with gates.

From the Bear Creek main page: "Whoops! The directions in our brochure are incorrect. Please see the Directions page for corrections. Thanks!" Maybe this explains where she went.

Ski areas like to host NASTAR if they feel they can make money. Race departments usually hate hosting NASTAR. It means they have to set and maintain the course and often use their timing gear and gates. And it's crappy practice for their teams because a NASTAR course is a really easy set, with no challenge. So if the race dept. at Blue really has pull, then there probably won't be NASTAR any time soon.

Could be Skierforever's kid...but that would mean he'd have had to hook up at least once in his 50 years, which is doubtful...

So you know those kids in school that everyone has picked on forever? By the time they get to high school, they almost seem to get a perverse sense of enjoyment from being abused. It's the only time anyone pays attention to them and when they get hit, it's the only physical contact in their lives. Those guys grow up and become Skierforevers.

Funny that this topic pops up...I was just over there for the first time in months calling Skierforever a pathetic little man. And, in my opinion, the CB MB is fair game for bashing. DaveK acted like some nuevo Hitler-wannabee that constantly threatened banning. ---cisco1980

We have some extraordinary expectations for the 'Dude. We are looking for a sub-150 GS and no soup for the 'Dude until he gets it.

Hmmmm...drills, needles, and that smell. You just might be a little insane, Atomic...

While on the subject, Atomic, wouldn't you think that your dental hygenist is about the worst female on Earth to hit on? I mean, what chance do you have with some chick that scrapes gross yellow plaque off of your teeth and flosses old meat from between your teeth? I just had a dental appointment and always wonder about that.

He was within striking distance of all the older guys on his team...guys that have made Eastern Finals multiple times...some 19-year-old guys that ski for Ivy League colleges...was in a position to upset the head coach's son...was within one or two gates of a major upset... and what did 'Dude do? Well, at least we can give props to Racerchick for moving her game up a notch and knocking off a few of those creepy Hidden Valley girls. Way to go Racerchick!!!!!

I was trying to figure out what was different. What an awesome day today was. Warm and never more than a few dozen people on the North Face all day. I pulled in at 10:30am and it almost looked like the place was closed. Hopefully the hundreds of people in the long-ass tubing lift line raised enough money to help keep the place open for next year.

'Dude, just exactly what happened? A top 20 in run one, just a second or so back from the top PA racers (BJ/MH) and you fell down in run two??????? 'Dude! What were you thinking? Would Tomba smoke run one, then just fall down in run two? He once went an entire season crashing out in only one run. You fell down in New Jersey!!!!

So did anyone else get a chance to experience the powdery Montage afternoon? I normally hate real snow screwing up my ice, but what an awesome surprise snowfall. We'll be there all day Thursday to see just how iritated we can make the yellow triangle guys, so look for an orange helmet. I came within four inches of one that was standing in the middle of the Boomer headwall and he just did this: