WHERE is the best place to ski if you don't drive

[enjoralas]

1 hour ago, GrilledSteezeSandwich said:

No way, he’s had over 5,000 rides down the hills at BB and JF

Without a crash.

You put some respect on that stat.

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

11 minutes ago, enjoralas said:

Without a crash.

You put some respect on that stat.

That’s like sleeping 5,000 nights in a row without shitting yourself.  

[indiggio]

36 minutes ago, GrilledSteezeSandwich said:

That’s like sleeping 5,000 nights in a row without shitting yourself.  

As I read that, I was expecting "without catching a venereal disease", but then it took a weird turn.

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

2 hours ago, indiggio said:

As I read that, I was expecting "without catching a venereal disease", but then it took a weird turn.

Was gonna say pissing yourself but I’ve definitely pissed myself within the last 5,000 nights like two apartments ago on my couch lol no worries couch went in the dumpster lol

[Shadows]

I shit myself not long ago. Few times

[DiMe]

23 minutes ago, Shadows said:

I shit myself not long ago. Few times

It's not so bad when it close to home.

[AirheadD8]

7 minutes ago, DiMe said:

It's not so bad when it close to home.

Omg these last two posts are just funny as shit , pun intended. You guys have to look forward to the saying. “Over 50 never trust a fart “ 

[DiMe]

1 minute ago, AirheadD8 said:

Omg these last two posts are just funny as shit , pun intended. You guys have to look forward to the saying. “Over 50 never trust a fart “ 

Thats not exclusive to over 50.  Especially after a heavy night of drinking 😳

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

23 minutes ago, DiMe said:

It's not so bad when it close to home.

And I wear khaki pants mostly so I definitely can never trust a fart..

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

13 minutes ago, AirheadD8 said:

Omg these last two posts are just funny as shit , pun intended. You guys have to look forward to the saying. “Over 50 never trust a fart “ 

That’s always been my kind of humor and some even more so than me like my late grandfather, NMSki and the cousin of chIck I have fun with sends audio of her farts in group chat or screaming what if god was one of us on tik tok after crop dusting her kid lol. Remember kids..beware of wet moms wahahahahaha

[indiggio]

9 hours ago, Shadows said:

I shit myself not long ago. Few times

Hate when that happens!

Haven't had a Level 5 while driving somewhere lately, overdue.

[Johnny Law]

There are some old head names,  Glenn, nick m...........a good crop dusting is very impressive but I think a well timed Dutch oven is the peak of fart based humor. 

[NMSKI]

I’ve been occasionally waking my kids up by farting really loud.  If I have to fart, I go in one of their rooms right by the bed and blast off super loud.  We both crack up and starting the day with a big laugh is the best way to set up a great day.

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

7 hours ago, indiggio said:

Hate when that happens!

Haven't had a Level 5 while driving somewhere lately, overdue.

Have you ever had a level 6 where you just shit in a bush and luckily had an old greasy fast food Napkin to wipe with. 

[indiggio]

6 hours ago, GrilledSteezeSandwich said:

Have you ever had a level 6 where you just shit in a bush and luckily had an old greasy fast food Napkin to wipe with. 

Oh yeah!  Out drinking one night, wasn’t my turn to drive, one started just after leaving bar, of course I was last to be dropped off at home.  Struggling to keep turtle in its shell the entire ride. 
Got back home to my parents house and there was NO time to wait.  Headed to the back corner of the yard behind a bush and let loose.  No greasy old napkin.  Had to do a waddle of shame straight to the shower. 

Edited November 25, 2023 by indiggio

[DiMe]

6 hours ago, GrilledSteezeSandwich said:

Have you ever had a level 6 where you just shit in a bush and luckily had an old greasy fast food Napkin to wipe with. 

Thats a level 6?  What the hell is when you erupt minutes from the driveway.  It's like the pressure builds as your body knows relief should be near and things can go bad very quickly at that point.

[DiMe]

My boat has a makeshift toilet.  Can't tell ya how many times on the middle of Lake Champlain or Lake Ontario I had to use it as such

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

12 minutes ago, indiggio said:

Oh yeah!  Out drinking one night, wasn’t my turn to drive, one started just after leaving bar, of course I was last to be dropped off at home.  Struggling to keep turtle in its shell the entire ride. 
Got back home to my parents house and there was NO time to wait.  Headed to the back corner of the yard behind a bush and let loose.  No greasy old napkin.  Had to do a waddle of shame straight to the shower. 

What’s always amazing is that Most of us can sit through slow moving traffic and a couple red lights and I guess the muscles do what muscles are supposed to do but literally when you’re opening bathroom door you have like 3.5 seconds or gonna be a giant shitty mess.  
 

If you’re ever bored or have like hours to kill check out Reddit some crazy poop my pants stories and even stories of people sheeting other people shorts.  
 

I’ve eaten ice cream with chop sticks and wiped my ass with an old tube sock because I was out of TP and paper towels Do I win a Nobel prize lol

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

5 minutes ago, DiMe said:

Thats a level 6?  What the hell is when you erupt minutes from the driveway.  It's like the pressure builds as your body knows relief should be near and things can go bad very quickly at that point.

Like shit your pants in your car or just maybe a couple drops of liquid poo juice in your shorts..there are levels to this…

[DiMe]

7 minutes ago, GrilledSteezeSandwich said:

Like shit your pants in your car or just maybe a couple drops of liquid poo juice in your shorts..there are levels to this…

What level is run straight into the shower with your clothes still on?

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

4 minutes ago, DiMe said:

What level is run straight into the shower with your clothes still on?

7+ 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

@theprogram4 and Meek are bros

 

 

[AirheadD8]

A 5 gallon bucket with some oil dry (kitty litter) keep in the vehicle along with a change of clothes and a roll of tp. 
 

I keep mental notes of where the rail trail parking is, road construction sites . Usually a job johnny available.
Wawa , Sheetz . I’m not the most religious person but I’ve prayed the stalls open many times. I’ve yet to have a blowout but came close. 
 

My buddy has the record for the most embarrassing and most conspicuous emergency. Top of Tuckerman headwall.He started his run then stopped and for a cheering lunchrock crowd dropped a log 😳😂

[AirheadD8]

11 minutes ago, DiMe said:

What level is run straight into the shower with your clothes still on?

911

[indiggio]

11 hours ago, DiMe said:

My boat has a makeshift toilet.  Can't tell ya how many times on the middle of Lake Champlain or Lake Ontario I had to use it as such

Went striper fishing out of Belmar once and the coffee kicked in shortly after departure on the way out in semi-rough seas.
There was no way that was gonna be held back for 5 or so hours.

Luckily the boat had a "toilet" (a broom closet with a 5 gallon bucket and a toilet seat to place on top and sit)
Better than sticking your ass out the back of the boat and launching that way, but riding the surf and shitting at the same time was a never forget experience!  After that, having to hit the head at Home Depot or Sam's club feels like sitting on a true throne.