Come along with the Snorks - Jlaws thoughts on Pines & The PNW

[Johnny Law]

Holy shit are there alot of pine trees, its like if western CO fucked a rainforest and the baby they had is Washington state. Alot of the grass here is fluorescent green, you just can't believe how fucking green everything is. 

I forgot how impressive Mt. Hood is, short of Maroon Bells or San Juan's it's one of the best to look at.  

They all Midwest drive, 5 over max but $32 llr gram carts and who cares.

Off to Bachelor, spring skiing but should be good.  

[rgrwilco]

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

25 minutes ago, rgrwilco said:

Twin peaks was a popular show when I was a kid.  I’ve never seen the new version. There’s also a restaurant chain called twin peaks. 

[Johnny Law]

Bachelor is soooooo dope, like Highlands or Palisades, for me it's exactly what I want in a ski area.  

From the moment you are about 15 miles out it looms large in the distance and as you get closer and closer you can't believe they ran a lift to the top.  

 

I was expecting firm cord at opening so I started an Sunnyside which gets first light.  Surprisingly there was some light chalk around and first run it was nice cord. I ran groomers off cloudchaser and pine marten until noon with zero lines and jump off everything super soft. Super playful constant action kinda terrain where you can work in endless airs. 

After lunch the summit lift was turning and a 15 min walk later and I was standing up top to harvest some corn.

 

The wind had blown the top arm to rotten terrible sastrugi so I zipped around to hit the morain face I had scoped from the lift.  

I was mostly trying to get to the gully to farm corn but why not get there via a more spicy route. The cut in on the cornice was over medium shark fin but one tech turn and it was an apron to milk turns. I was for a second in my head thinking this is a super bad idea so I was stoked it worked out. 

Looking up you can see its more chalky snow and I thought I had fucked up on the corn

A tech entry means low traffic and staying up on the Ridge I wondered into perfect super baked up corn untouched. It was pure Nebraska corn harvest and I milked the fuck out of those turns all the way to the lift. 

The rest of the day I ran groomers under the skyliner lift which is busted.  It was super nice zero traffic groomers though the slog out sucks hairy ballsack when it's 65 degrees down low. Now I'm eating pizza hut breadsticks from an actual pizza hut restaurant. 

Super super dope spring day, peeps are so nice with zero pretentiousness and almost no Jerry's. I could spend a lifetime their and be super super happy but there is a potential for 30+" at baker Monday/ Tuesday so I may start making my way up there and hit meadows on the way tomorrow.  Seriously though for a 1000 reasons Bachelor is le tits, it's a volcano you can ski all the way around, the terrain is endless.  

[NMSKI]

15 minutes ago, Johnny Law said:

Bachelor is soooooo dope, like Highlands or Palisades, for me it's exactly what I want in a ski area.  

From the moment you are about 15 miles out it looms large in the distance and as you get closer and closer you can't believe they ran a lift to the top.  

 

I was expecting firm cord at opening so I started an Sunnyside which gets first light.  Surprisingly there was some light chalk around and first run it was nice cord. I ran groomers off cloudchaser and pine marten until noon with zero lines and jump off everything super soft. Super playful constant action kinda terrain where you can work in endless airs. 

After lunch the summit lift was turning and a 15 min walk later and I was standing up top to harvest some corn.

 

The wind had blown the top arm to rotten terrible sastrugi so I zipped around to hit the morain face I had scoped from the lift.  

I was mostly trying to get to the gully to farm corn but why not get there via a more spicy route. The cut in on the cornice was over medium shark fin but one tech turn and it was an apron to milk turns. I was for a second in my head thinking this is a super bad idea so I was stoked it worked out. 

Looking up you can see its more chalky snow and I thought I had fucked up on the corn

A tech entry means low traffic and staying up on the Ridge I wondered into perfect super baked up corn untouched. It was pure Nebraska corn harvest and I milked the fuck out of those turns all the way to the lift. 

The rest of the day I ran groomers under the skyliner lift which is busted.  It was super nice zero traffic groomers though the slog out sucks hairy ballsack when it's 65 degrees down low. Now I'm eating pizza hut breadsticks from an actual pizza hut restaurant. 

Super super dope spring day, peeps are so nice with zero pretentiousness and almost no Jerry's. I could spend a lifetime their and be super super happy but there is a potential for 30+" at baker Monday/ Tuesday so I may start making my way up there and hit meadows on the way tomorrow.  Seriously though for a 1000 reasons Bachelor is le tits, it's a volcano you can ski all the way around, the terrain is endless.  

Sweet!  I rode the lift at Taos with some guys from bachelor who were the nicest ever.  I’ve always been intrigued by the cinder cone at bachelor for some reason.  

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

Nice report!!!  Who are you with and where are you staying?

[theprogram4]

Good stuff, bachelor looks great!

[Johnny Law]

1 hour ago, NMSKI said:

Sweet!  I rode the lift at Taos with some guys from bachelor who were the nicest ever.  I’ve always been intrigued by the cinder cone at bachelor for some reason.  

There is something super cool about the prominence of the volcanos and driving up it feels very large. Not in a telluride way where it's like the alps, I'm not sure any other place can be judged by that metric but it is super pretty in its own way. The summit terrain is legit but the rest is just fun groomers. Everyone is hyper nice and not in a Mormon way. 

32 minutes ago, GrilledSteezeSandwich said:

Nice report!!!  Who are you with and where are you staying?

I'm in bend right now at the campfire hotel, I'm riding with some friends in the area but today was solo as I was the only one who wanted to make the trek to Oregon

25 minutes ago, theprogram4 said:

Good stuff, bachelor looks great!

Baker is on my list too, 60% of why I went PNW was because of talking to Charles who went early in the year and you and I were talking about baker and bachelor at some point in the lot. 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

Johnny Law keep the report going..this is when we need stoke the most and we all appreciate your elequent writing style.  

[Johnny Law]

16 hours ago, GrilledSteezeSandwich said:

Johnny Law keep the report going..this is when we need stoke the most and we all appreciate your elequent writing style.  

I was just a little behind, I'm trying to get to Tacoma or Glacier maybe before it's late late.

Be it dating or skiing i appreciate a fine view and with that in mind I left Bend around 6 to hoof it up to Hood Meadows. 

Common to the west right about where the land goes from green to brown you find a rez and shortly their after a casino and mad rv peeps do 23 all the way to govt camp who for some reason need to gamble there at all hours of the day. 

Sun was shining in the lot but up high the  peak danced in and out of sight through dark foreboding clouds. The way the snow was being blown over the Ridge and swirled across the upper face made the smart peeps grab their mittens and the upper lift never opened which was likely a blessing. 30mph winds 2/3 the way up steady from the bell to when I left at 3. Cold AF in the wind and grey.

That's not to say it was a bad day, coming across the top of the far left groomer you are treated to a sublime view of hood and the glacial morain it's fury gauged out of the earth. The run is two football fields wide and medium pitch, not another soul was on it, snow was nice soft leftover bake from the previous days sun with an Ansel Adam's back drop. You put the hammer down to 110 and do whatever the fuck you want. Ludicrous speed full trail width arcs to floaty air rollers with minimal speed control.  The runs where for a second at least your a golden fucking god to feel so alive, to be so lucky to experience that, lucky to be a skier. 

 

I ate the most dope fish for lunch and explored some more runs while the weather progressively got more crab fishing and less skiing. Driving graupel bullshit and only a dozen or so soft groomers and I peaced out around 3. 

If I can get back to Tacoma in time I'm going to eat my weight in Sushi before deciding what the fuck to do about tomorrow.  Big dumps in the forecast but super high winds will likely shut down the game pretty much everywhere. Baker is the super gamblers choice for Monday but Tacoma puts alot near by. 

 

 

[skiincy]

1 hour ago, Johnny Law said:

I was just a little behind, I'm trying to get to Tacoma or Glacier maybe before it's late late.

Be it dating or skiing i appreciate a fine view and with that in mind I left Bend around 6 to hoof it up to Hood Meadows. 

Common to the west right about where the land goes from green to brown you find a rez and shortly their after a casino and mad rv peeps do 23 all the way to govt camp who for some reason need to gamble there at all hours of the day. 

Sun was shining in the lot but up high the  peak danced in and out of sight through dark foreboding clouds. The way the snow was being blown over the Ridge and swirled across the upper face made the smart peeps grab their mittens and the upper lift never opened which was likely a blessing. 30mph winds 2/3 the way up steady from the bell to when I left at 3. Cold AF in the wind and grey.

That's not to say it was a bad day, coming across the top of the far left groomer you are treated to a sublime view of hood and the glacial morain it's fury gauged out of the earth. The run is two football fields wide and medium pitch, not another soul was on it, snow was nice soft leftover bake from the previous days sun with an Ansel Adam's back drop. You put the hammer down to 110 and do whatever the fuck you want. Ludicrous speed full trail width arcs to floaty air rollers with minimal speed control.  The runs where for a second at least your a golden fucking god to feel so alive, to be so lucky to experience that, lucky to be a skier. 

 

I ate the most dope fish for lunch and explored some more runs while the weather progressively got more crab fishing and less skiing. Driving graupel bullshit and only a dozen or so soft groomers and I peaced out around 3. 

If I can get back to Tacoma in time I'm going to eat my weight in Sushi before deciding what the fuck to do about tomorrow.  Big dumps in the forecast but super high winds will likely shut down the game pretty much everywhere. Baker is the super gamblers choice for Monday but Tacoma puts alot near by. 

 

 

Looks amazing. 
read like a poetry slam.

 

 

[Johnny Law]

I got to Tacoma around 830 and ate the dopest sushi at Sushi Ari. The Salmon in a box was one of the most unique and tasty rolls I've ever had.

Baker was too far, the pass would be a nightmare and alpental is closed. So Xtal it is. I left around six to steady rain and high winds, drive was uneventful as the plan was Xtal as the road is flat for a ski area. 

It looks like a weird kinda weather day but should be some fluff around as the lot is using almost all of the tacos ground clearance. 

[Johnny Law]

Fucking stupid sick day, I rode non stop pow until my hands are shaking like Michael J. Fox. 

Recharging with lunch but endless nobody home lines. Super thick and variable. I've taken 6 falls so far which is like 2 seasons worth but only one was on me. 

Full on donkey Kong charging snow and my God is it good to jump off. 

I wish I could say this is some stupid secret line but the lift is 2000ft away, no one is here.  

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

Wait you stayed in Tacoma and your rental car was a Tacoma?  That’s some weird wild stuff.  The Michael J Fox jokes are always a little risky but we’re mostly adults here.  

[Johnny Law]

5 hours ago, GrilledSteezeSandwich said:

Wait you stayed in Tacoma and your rental car was a Tacoma?  That’s some weird wild stuff.  The Michael J Fox jokes are always a little risky but we’re mostly adults here.  

I feel like once every 10 years it's ok

I was maybe 20th in line at the gondy but it stopped for awhile and peeps peaced out for Chinook so I ended up in the 3rd cabin.

From the moment the doors opened and the wind tried to blow you to Kansas it was on.

It's full Geordi LaForge out, I'm not sure where I'm going and its half snow half some kind of pellet that gets into the cuff of your glove but fuck it power down to lucky shot traverse and go right to Bear Pits. The only other guy going out slips off the side as everything is white and he's gone. Full speed blind traversing through 10" of thick fluff with mixed pockets of wind scour but the gate is found and we power on. Bear Pits I recall being chutey and cliffy but I can't see any of it and besides my group there isn't a soul or track in sight.

I spot a middle wide sort of chute into an apron and hammer down, first turn I almost go straight over the handlebars as I'm guessing on density, second turn is wind scour and now I'm off balance and going way too fucking fast but I can see the fat snow line now and can cork up the turn where you put it all back together and it's deeeep thick fluff. Attacking snow, where you set the giver lever to 120%. Speed control is irrelevant, it's 20% water so absolute full speed hero snow where huge airs and wrecks are a poof and back at it.  

I ended up semi lost at some random lift which happened to be Forrest Queen which after another untouched mid angle lap led us to Chair 6. 

From roughly 940 to 1220 we did nothing but non stop chair 6 laps. Each time going a bit further out the traverse and each time it was the best non-blue turns I've made all season. Good thick were you can go absolutely all out of untracked lap after lap........ but at a price.

First lap I hit what looks to be a lip to air but is a tree branch covered in snow and that ski goes weeeeeeeee. Second lap I find the best line of the season where between two trees over what had to be straight boiler plate I get a legit face shot. Further down that run .3 milliseconds after popping off a roller the left ski catches something and I double eject. This was the pattern all morning, incredible turns but some snakes with the low base. 1 was on me but 5 times and twice in a run a ski went weeeeeeeee and I had to go get it out of some kind of bramble or brush. 

Absolutely 10000000% one of the funest pow days ever even if its far lower on the quality scale. Everyone is staying on Campus to get the goods here tomorrow as its supposed to snow 6-8 tonight and then be nicer.

Too many words but everytime you took the phone out the lens would get covered with snow. 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 5, 2022 by Johnny Law

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

I had to look up who Geordi LaForge was. I know him from Reading Rainbow.  

 

 

[Johnny Law]

10 hours ago, GrilledSteezeSandwich said:

I had to look up who Geordi LaForge was. I know him from Reading Rainbow.  

 

 

Love me some Reading Rainbow, fuck sesame street I can fly anywhere, places to go, people to know...Reading Rainbow 🌈 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

Still snowing and I'm out to go get in the line up

[theprogram4]

@Johnny Law

Are you just driving around the pacific north west chasing the snow?  Cause this trip sounds awesome, enjoy!

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

Here’s my Michael J fox joke for the decade.  

[Johnny Law]

8 hours ago, theprogram4 said:

@Johnny Law

Are you just driving around the pacific north west chasing the snow?  Cause this trip sounds awesome, enjoy!

I didn't know it would snow, that part was pure luck but the skifari was the plan. The trip idea was to ski the big dogs of the PNW if possible in a single trip. 

I woke up this morning at 545 no alarm, which for me is about as rare as something can get.  From dinner the previous night you could feel the anticipation and electricity in the air. At 730 there was already a gondy line and thankfully I was in it.

3rd gondy and out the door I'm 400mph towards Elk Snort Bowl. With the lifts that are running it will require a 10-15 min walk which should guarantee no tracks from the day before. Patrol was still going up but cool with me going ahead so I reach the top and as far as we can see its 20" with no tracks. 

I can barely pause long enough to catch my breath the pull is so strong, so let them go and boom white room. It's thick, not as quite as thick as the day before but still hammer down snow. The legit pow bounce is on and its face shots every 2nd or 3rd turn. Short of Silverton/ telluride which is its own unicorn, deepest turns I've had since Rona. 

As fast as we can possibly go back to the gondy for another lap right back into the deep. From every corner of the hill you can hear people hooting and hollering, noobs, experts, some women in a sit ski they are all getting deeeeep everywhere you can see.

Two more laps in there and then on to a different untracked zone some guy told us about on the lift. 

After the roll over shit was like every snow enthusiasts dream, effortless super deep. The gentlemen did not tell us of the walk out which in waist deep snow was sweaty and matters to the rest of the day. 

My thought was to go for an easier cool down lap in bear pits which was full of sharks but very good the day before. First 3 or 4 turns are fucking tits but a group of goobers are jerking off in the gully I want so I move over one and instantaneously the right ski is off. I sort of hockey stop but Fuuuuck the ski didn't stop, brakes are deployed but now it's really picking up speed. I track it all the way to where it stops 10 miles down the hill but by the time I can get there on one ski its been buried/moved. Friends show up shortly there after and we do essentially a body search but she dead. 

For me that's like loosing your dog, it has a mind of its own but that's on you and to make matters worse now I have to ski out of there on one ski in 20" of fresh. No fucking doubts but needless to say by the time I reached the lodge I needed a soda and 5. Short of teaching someone I've never done more work to get down the hill. Once my ski-less boot caught in the pow and I did two dude style whirly birds before absolutely eating shit which was very fun to watch I've been told. 

I got rentals and after lunch got some very good laps but my zen was off.  I'm headed to Baker tomorrow and now I have to rent skis like a fucking Jerry but it will be dope and I'll forget about the skis.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ode to my skis

In 40 years I have never left a good ski behind. You should know that we did not abandon you in Bear Pits lightly and in the event that you are found, SP has my info. You served valiantly and fought with great valor and courage. We slayed much together. I simultaneously took the best and no care of you in the eternal struggle to slay the sickest deepest lines and I shall miss you dearly until powder7 delivers a new pair to my door next week. 

 

 

 

[toast21602]

Incredible! But I am so, so sorry for your loss. Condolences. 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

Holy crap and what ski did you lose?  Sounds like you were really putting the hammer down. 

[theprogram4]

Are the ski ejections due to the powder being similar to Sierra cement?

[Johnny Law]

36 minutes ago, toast21602 said:

Incredible! But I am so, so sorry for your loss. Condolences. 

I think hirohito said it best now we must suffer the unsufferable. We are holding a service at the bar currently.

25 minutes ago, GrilledSteezeSandwich said:

Holy crap and what ski did you lose?  Sounds like you were really putting the hammer down. 

Corvus, very agro but it was all stuff under the snow so it was play it safe or go for it.

19 minutes ago, theprogram4 said:

Are the ski ejections due to the powder being similar to Sierra cement?

It's like 30" on 6" maybe, it's all a field of white so you pick your line but you hit a rock or tree and you have no chance. If I wanted I could ski the groomers only but that's not as fun and alot of the PNW is flat for that kinda snow. It's 100% my choice but until today I've always found the ski if it ran. 

[Mixilplix]

That was a good read.....sometimes shit lines up and you get it back....